- Sex.Scoop with Dr Michelle Mars - http://sex.scoop.co.nz -

P-spots for beginners

By  Dr Michelle Mars sexologist

What is the P-spot and where can women find it on a man?

It’s not so different to finding the g-spot on a woman in some ways. In and up towards the belly.  A bit further in than the g-spot around the second knuckle for me but I have long fingers.  You’re looking for something quite firm, about the consistency of a medium steak.

How do women incorporate P-spot pleasuring into sex play?

Women can insert fingers or sex toys in the anus.  However there is another way. In Norwegian and Afrikaans Tjommie (“chômmy”) means best friend.  It’s also slang for the perineum.  I think that’s kind of interesting because becoming intimate with the perineum is one way to extend and enhance sexual pleasure.  It’s non-confrontational way to have fun with the p-spot . There’s a little indentation you can learn to play with and if you do it right you can multiply, extend, delay and generally play with a man’s sexual pleasures. Be aware that it is possible to press too hard.

Are there sex toys specifically designed for the P-spot?

There are heaps of sex toys available for the p-spot [1].  Personally I think it’s important to go and have a look and a feel if possible.  Invest some time and money and get it right.  There are a lot of novelty toys out there that don’t quite do the job.  For first timers I suggest something small and silicon. Go to a good girl friendly store like Max Black in Sydney or D’Vice in Melbourne or New Zealand and talk to the girls in store. You can also ask someone who knows about p-spots to take you to a sex shop.

What role does sexual identity play in the P-spot?

The prostate is easily accessible through the rectum so straight away people think of gay men.  But gay men don’t have anal sex because they are gay. There isn’t a switch in gay men’s bottoms, They have anal sex because it feels good.  Unfortunately this has limited many “straight” men’s sexual pleasure.  I just did some research [2] for a dating site called AdultMatchMaker.com.au. 7631 answered the survey and 25% of respondents said they were bisexual and another 5% weren’t sure of their current sexual orientation. That’s a long way from the one and two percent census estimates for gay and bisexual people. I think Robbie Williams is right, Everybody Swings Both Ways [3]” or at least the sex interested segment of the population is highly likely to.

There are many issues surrounding the P-spot so how do straight couples overcome them?

First let’s take a look at the gay myth. The prostate is easily accessible through the rectum and because culturally we associate gay men with anal sex anal sex must be gay.  So anal sex is gay!  Even though we know this is logically untrue.   All gay men don’t like anal sex.  Some women like anal sex and anal sex can be a fetish or a fantasy that makes people feel turned on but they never actually want to do it. So the gay taboo is based on a myth.

Another issue people have with anal play is the potential for mess. Nothing enema’s and latex gloves can’t fix.  When you go exploring don’t forget the lube!

See the full story on  http://shesaid.com/au/top-sex-tips-pleasuring-mans-p-spot/#twitterTip [4]