I have last night! We did a group massage thing. Seven of us, 2 massage tables and oceans of bliss. The thing I am really enjoying is that the bliss is still with me today to the point that I am writing the post, the first time I’ve blogged for months.

Sexual experience is so intimately connected to our sensuality but I think that in a busy world, where lives are moving fast, we often lose sight of our bodies aside from a quick bonk when the time is right (and its Business Time) . Sometimes it can be hard to let boundaries go and explore, it’s just not a big part of ‘western’ culture.  In fact we’re culturally programmed to be suspicious of sensuality. When I was first invited to a group massage experience I was vaguely creeped out!  Was this going to be some kind of weird cult-ish experience? So it was with a sense of mild curiosity and the hope that I wouldn’t scream ‘get your hands off me’ and stomp off that I entered the room.

I didn’t freak out and the first experience was interesting in a weird kind of way. I walked into a room of about 20 people I didn’t know, candles glowing, heaters blowing, it was warm and friendly right from the start. People of different ages, sizes and shapes all together in one room with the purpose of getting naked and massaging eachother. We sat around and introduced ourselves and talked about what the group was: a few people getting together once a month to practice sensual (not sexual) massage. People said what they wanted and the rules where agreed upon.  Sensual rather than hard massage strokes, ‘my breasts are part of my body but I don’t want to be sexually stimulated’, ‘if you get a hard on it’s not a problem’,’ if you brush sexual organs  inadvertently  just carry on’,  and so on. We had about 20 minute sessions each. 3 people got on massage tables and the rest of us took turns massaging them.  After about the second person when I had relaxed I got into this really cool head space.  It was one of those moments when I felt like I learned something but not in words so putting it in words is also difficult.  But there is something about several people giving you their energy  and about you working with a few people to give someone else a blissful experience that feels good for the soul.  I slept like a baby that night.

I slept like a baby again last night and had amazing sex this morning and I’ve been blissed all day since.  In my experience of being part of the other group it just gets better as the energy builds, the expectations come into line and everyone gets comfortable.  I’m looking forward to more of the same.

Has anyone else had interesting sensual experiences?

Dr Michelle Mars is a free lance sexologist living in Sydney. She can be contacted on +614000 82936or info@drmichellemars.com

 

By Dr Michelle Mars
sex.scoop.co.nz

We live in a world where science has more credit than experiential knowledge. It’s been this way since the Enlightenment, around the beginning of the 18th Century, when religious belief gave way to rationalism. But with increasing rapidity science is proving that the things that the ancient sexual masters told us about sex are indeed true. In a recent article in the Journal of Sexual Medicine researchers revealed that sexually satisfied women experience better well-being and more vitality. Read more »

FemFresh Research: Women lack confidence in bed

Dr Michelle Mars

+61400082936

info@drmichellemars.com
sex.scoop.co.nz

Recent research done by Femfresh, a company that sells… ‘a range of feminine hygiene products, designed especially for women, to help you stay clean and fresh from am to pm’, showed that women lack confidence in bed.

It’s hardly surprising that research done by a company that sells feminine hygiene products would come to this conclusion. These guys are experts in the sexual self confidence market. However, the Femfresh research finding to hit the news does not relate to feminine hygiene, it relates to drinking. Femfresh found that women drink before sex. (See Rebecca Lewis’ article in the Herald on Sunday) Read more »

Sex Parties and Sex Acts

By Dr Michelle Mars
sex.scoop.co.nz

World politics has taken a turn for the better with the introduction of a main stream political party that takes sex seriously, the Australian ‘Sex Party’.

The Sex Party is responding to gender inequalities in politics, antiquated and ad hoc laws around sexuality and sexual expression, and political hypocrisy around sex.

Read more »

The Scoop.Sex Channel

Hi and Welcome to sex.scoop. I am Dr Michelle Mars and I am here because I love talking about that ever controversial subject SEX. I’m  excited to be here and looking forward to blogging about the ever unfolding sexual landscape.

Sex is everywhere, we see it in text and images all the time but we hardly ever scratch below the surface. I am here to do a little scratching with you. Sex is not stupid! Just because it can be fun and frivolous it doesn’t mean we can’t think about it deeply and that’s what I am going to do here.

Dr Michelle MarsIn this blog I am going to look at all things sexual and sexy. I am going to look at the art and style of sex as well as politics and policy around topical issues. I’m  interested in identity, fashion, culture, books and much more.People are starting to take sex more seriously. We want to know more about sex.

If there is one thing that spending years as an academic working in a University taught me it’s that there is a lot more to know about achieving well being, pleasure and respect when it comes to sex. People have been fascinated by the subject for centuries. The amount information we have access to is endless. You could spend your whole life reading about sex and there would still be more to find out. I think sex is endlessly fascinating!

 

Michelle is a sexologist. She founded Sassi-Inc in December 2008 to enlighten and enrich the Kiwi sexual experience. “I say, lets talk about sex. Let’s get it out there on the table and let’s start having much more fun”.

*********Feedback is welcome and should be sent to to info@drmichellemars.com

The Perfect Vagina

By Dr Michelle Mars

+64 21 979 373
Sex.Scoop.co.nz

TV One’s screening ‘The Perfect Vagina’ documentary exposed New Zealand to the ins and outs of vaginal augmentation.

The vagina has made its way out of the pornographic sphere and into the main stream. The more we get a look at the vagina, be it a quick flash from Britney or Paris, or a well lit and carefully rendered scene from a movie, the more standardised and unrealistic our ideas about whats normal become.

Women often take pictures of pornstar vaginas to their surgeon’s office. The real absurdity here is that porno vaginas like porno breasts tend to have been crafted by the surgeons knife in the first place.

Read more »

Sex Education and Risk

By Dr Michelle Mars

Teenagers usually make good choices, and that is a hard pill for parents to swallow sometimes.  Although you can’t choose the road your teenager will take, you can give them good sign posts and information so they have pleasant and successful experiences.

Risk is a normal and necessary part of growing up, we want young adults to take risks, but we want those risks to be grounded in truth and fact, not fear of failure and silence. In New Zealand our binge drinking culture tends to encourage risky sexual practices, and as we have begun to talk  to our young people about drinking in moderation, now its time to talk about sex. Read more »

An orgasm a day keeps the doctors away

By Dr Michelle Mars
Sex.Scoop.co.nz

A sex education pamphlet entitled ‘Pleasure” put out by the  British National Health Service has a new message for teenagers, ‘sex can not only be fun, it’s also good for you’. This is a radical departure from the traditional horror of sexually transmitted infections, fear of pregnancy, and mechanics of reproduction sexual health messages we consider suitable for young adults. Read more »